I want to stop caring about how much fun everyone else is having,
or seems to be having
and outside my window
on Friday nights.
I want to stop worrying
how they see me.
I don’t want to pinch at skin
wishing there was less of me beneath it.
I never want to feel embarrassed or sad or ashamed
about something from two years ago
or what I ate earlier today.
I don’t want to lose sleep
over days ahead.
I don’t want to worry
over my inadequacies
—ones only I see.
I don’t want to feel restless
over skipped parties
or soft days without Big Accomplishments.
I don’t want to feel like I’m missing everything.
I want to know there is just this. And that will all work out. And we are all okay.