right back at you, for serious. :)
all I want for Christmas is the Super 8 DVD and an english bulldog puppy named either Astro or Kate Moss.
I am so flattered that I could give you hope. And I am so glad.
Still, I feel obligated to admit that I think you flatter me too much. I feel so unsure of… everything… including myself, with some frequency.
I do try though. I try very hard to realize and appreciate and remember how wonderful everything is. To know and feel that everything is okay and enough. That I am okay and enough.
So, I suppose I aspire to be as you’ve depicted me. To quote the Van Gogh I posted recently, which am kind of obsessed with right now: I’m seeking, I’m striving, I’m in it with all my heart.
And the moments when, even fleetingly, I actually feel a sense of ease… well, it’s fabulous, and worth the tougher bits of struggle in life.
But, thank you. This made me smile, even if I think it’s a bit too kind.
Now that I am internalizing how fleeting this all is, now that I realized how much I love my little life here and how charmed it is and how soon it is all about to go away, I love even the little things.
Suddenly working my butt off in the library at 10 pm on a Tuesday next to a few good friends who are doing the same seems kind of special and fantastic.
I am appreciative. I am happy. It, this, is enough.
I feel like it’s weird that as I toy with the idea of “big girl clothing,” I’m looking at girls school uniform shirts.
But it’s the peter pan collars! I just want all the peter pan collars!
(And the deals! Kids clothing is so cheap!)
I want to put more weight on the good things. I feel like I’ve been struggling this semester, but out of some of the hardest things came the best words said, and out of the struggle I’m finding my way.
I need to stop focusing on the messy bits and start focusing on the good ones. They are what matter, anyway.
Life is not so tragic. I don’t want to make it feel like it is, especially when there is so much to feel good about.