Found long-lost paychecks, hung out with close friends who live far away most of the time. A little sad my friend “Andy” isn’t driving back up to Vermont with me tomorrow, but the good of tonight far outweighed the bad. I feel so blessed.
“If you have a situation in your life right now that is less joyful than you want it to be, realize that it is teaching you important lessons. If you are in a crisis you may be reaching inward to the deepest part of your being and gaining a new strength and courage. You can choose to learn these lessons and gain these qualities with joy. Simply stop for a moment and make the decision to do so. Things may not change overnight, but they will change.”—Orin (via oceanofmind) (via onherway) (via inwaves)
“Sometimes late at night I think about all the things that have been, all the things that haven’t been and all the things yet to be. If my heart could explode into a billion tiny pieces and scatter themselves all over the world. If I could live on sunlight and the city sounds and fall asleep in those thousands of lighted windows. I wonder if this world will ever make sense to me, if I will ever truly understand anything… And if there’s really anything to understand at all.”—(via poeticheartache) (via etrangers) (via mondaymarches) (via katelizabeth) (via chaotique) (via classyfabulous)
It’s not until you get out of your house, your town, your usual surroundings until you realise how good you have it. New experiences are everything. Getting out and going makes you think about how open everything is and how many possibilities are out there. It makes you realise how happy you really are.
I experienced this very much last summer when I went to England and then it continued when I came back. That trip, which took place one year ago- I was in London a year ago from this moment!-changed me, in all the best ways. It woke me up, to all the possibility in the world, all the beautiful variety that you can and must seek.
Strange things:Feeling different in different places
I always feel different at home (NY) and at school (Vt).
At home I feel more cerebral, I spend more time inside my own head. I spend more time on things like reading for fun, learning to play the piano, learning to cook, being crafty. I am more shy and more relaxed. I drink a cup of tea every morning, and usually have toast with jam for breakfast. I get anxious at night and sometimes during the day, feeling like I’m not doing enough. I go on drives alone to the water. I have more free time and so I do more lazing around, more relaxing, more purposeful deep thinking. Even time spent with friends is more along the lines of watching movies, going on ghost-hunt drives or drives to the beach to watch a sunset.
At school I’m more social. I’m barely ever alone, but I don’t mind it. I’m almost always with a friend, usually my friend “Kate,” who people often associate as one person with me. I never get tired of spending time with her and so I wouldn’t mind this, but I do wish that people didn’t think we were the same person (ironically, she feels the same way). I almost never feel alone, but I never really feel crowded. And I never have time to get anxious or feel like I’m not doing enough. I’m constantly trying my best to do my work or get stuff done on time for the newspaper or to fit everything in in time to go out on the weekends. I’m fairly outgoing and go out to parties/clubs with some regularity. I’m noticed more at school and I have the social life I didn’t have in high school, which has its upsides & downsides. I get iced lattes and egg white wake up wraps most weekend mornings from dunkin donuts and I get way too many moe’s burritos.
It’s just strange because I don’t try to be different, but I always feel different. And my life is different in each place, the circumstances are different, and so I end up living somewhat differently. But a bit of each world certainly makes its way into the other, which I love. I’m about to spend the summer in Vermont, without schoolwork or the newspaper to attend to all the time, and I’m hoping that the best parts of each will converge in these next few months.
hey! thanks for the add!
i just wanna say that ive been following you for awhile now and you are probably the smartest chick i know, you always have a inspirational thing about life and how life will go on after highschool! Right now im just finishing up my junior year so it means alot! i know you probably dont except people to read everything you write but i always do! :) you have great writing skills plus cute pictures so your tumblr is definitely one that i always follow :)
Hey, you’re welcome! I really like your tumblr a lot! (so thank you)
& wow, thank you so much. I’m really honored that you read everything I write and think so highly of it/me. That just means so much, I can’t tell you.
& I’m glad that the stuff about high school meant something to you to read- it meant something to me to write too. I just guess that I feel like it’s important for me to pass on the hopeful knowledge that is a product of my experience.
Hi! I came across your tumblr recently and I just couldn't resist telling you how much I love it.I think it's the most exquisite tumblr I've seen and although I haven't seen all of your posts,the ones I have seen just left me breathless.Also,it's so wonderul to know I can relate with someone on some of the small things in life.
Have a great day and wish you all the best for your future :)
Thank you so much! I’m so glad to hear that you’ve been enjoying my tumblr- I enjoy posting in it & it means so much to me, but it’s nice to know that it has a positive effect on others too.
It is really great to relate to someone about little things. That’s one of my favorite things about tumblr actually- reading something that someone wrote that fits into my heart, or hearing that something I’ve written was relatable to someone else. It makes the world feel smaller in all the best ways, I think.
I hope that you have a great day & many many great days too.
Ian Somerhalder comes down here to Louisiana to help with the oil spill clean-up efforts (since he’s always talking about it on his twitter and doing PSAs) and sees me like washing oil off a pelican or some shit
and he’s all like
at my selflessness and how much I care about the wildlife
and then I look up at him like
and he’s all
and I’m all
and he’s all
and I’m all
and then he takes me out for coffee and we have lots and lots of sex and get married and move to California and buy a giant fluffy black dog that we’ll name Sirius and have babies with amazing bone structure
I was thinking today about the unequal culture surrounding sex for males and females, about the whole idea that a guy who sleeps around is the man but a girl who does the same is a slut.
and first I was thinking about the upsetting reality that girls reinforce it just as much as guys do, calling each other sluts, creating a culture where being called a slut is acceptable.
but then I thought back further, to how these ideas are so ingrained upon our heads from such an early age, even in the best environments.
how the best meaning parents will let their son sleep over at his girlfriend’s house but won’t let their daughter sleep over at her boyfriend’s, instilling the idea in the heads of both of their children that while there is nothing wrong with a male having a healthy, mature, fulfilling sex life, there is something wrong with a female having one.
that the same parents who once told their daughter that she could have anything a man could are sending a stronger message that a sex life that she doesn’t have to feel bad about is not one of those things.
yesterday and the day before I went to the beach during the day and the city at night. It was gorgeous out two days ago, and, thought deathly hot yesterday, I have to appreciate the heat after so many winter months in Vermont.
Two days ago I went to an ocean beach with my dad, which was very nice.
Two nights ago I went to the city to see my friend “Margie” from high school who I hadn’t seen since winter break, and that was a very brief visit. We didn’t see each other that much outside of school in high school, though sometimes, but we were pretty good friends, and I hadn’t seen or talked to her in a while. She lives with her friend “Calvin”, who is also awesome and who I also know from high school, and my friend “Adam” and I went in and saw them. We went to St. Marks, got falafel, caught up, and it was very nice.
And then Adam and I surprised our friend “Roberta”, who was getting off her bus from Boston in the city and thought she was taking the LIRR home. It was great. She was very surprised and then the three of us went to a 24 hour diner before coming home early in the AM.
And then last night I went in with Adam, his friend “Marie,” her friend “Annabelle” and Roberta for a poetry slam. Calvin met us there, and Marie ended up performing. The 1.5 hour car ride without air conditioning was not fun, nor was the hour wait outside in line, but the slam was very very cool. I was so impressed.
And furthermore, thanks to the very hard work of my wonderful mom, I feel like my room and my apartment are coming together finally, very nicely. Which is certainly something to smile about.
So the last few days have been pretty awesome. I woke up a half hour ago to my roommate from the past year, “Kate,” texting me to tell me she couldn’t wait for me to come back to Burlington, which is just one of the best ways to wake up.
Life has been very good to me as of late and I am very thankful. I hope it has been good to all of you too.